"A Better You" Your 7 days program for self-improvement

Is your self-esteem, on the rocky side?

Here are some helpful hints to improve, the better you in seven days.

I seem to lost count of how many times I've read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right.

 Not that I care (and personally I don't), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. 

I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite how trivial it could get. 

But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose 

Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health, and prosperity? 

Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. 

But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values 

What do you value most? 

Make a list of your top 5 values. 

Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. 

As you set your goals for 2021? - check your goals against your values.

 If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn't discourage you, instead, it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dream of.

3. Know your needs 

Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. 

Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? 

There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. 

List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!

4. Know your passions 

You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. 

Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. 

Express yourself and honor the people who have inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out 

Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. 

Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. 

For most of us city slickers, it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. 

In my case, I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. 

There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths 

What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? 

List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. 

Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. 

You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know with others.

7. Serve others 

When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. 

When you are true to who you are, living your r purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. 

The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. 

It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. 

The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

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How To Cope With Bullies

 Bullying is one form of harassment inflicted by an abuser of more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim. 

Bullying is often done with clear intentions of harming the target through different means.  

These means may include verbal harassment, physical assault, emotional blackmail, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation.

Bullies are often characterized as having authoritarian personalities.  

They also feel a strong need to control or dominate anything, be it a weaker person, a stronger person, or a situation.  

They have also been noted to display deficiency in terms of social skills and possess a prejudice against subordinates.  

A lot of studies show that most bullies have envy and resentment as motives for bullying.

 Researchers have identified other risk factors such as quickness to anger and use of force, addiction to aggressive behaviors, mistaking others' actions as hostile, concern with preserving self-image, and engaging in obsessive or rigid actions.

Bullying exists in any setting of inevitable social interaction, like schools, workplaces, inside the home, and around the neighborhood. 

This may even occur between different social groups, social classes, and even between countries. 

Like any kind of abusive behavior, bullying is a repetitive act done to gain power or control over another person, race, or country.

Bullying is generally classified into:

·Direct bullying. The bully displays physical aggression in the form of shoving and poking, throwing things, slapping, choking, punching and kicking, and beating.

·Indirect bullying. Also called social aggression, the victim is forced into social isolation. 

This is usually done by bad mouthing the victim, refusing to socialize with the victim, name-calling, mocking the victim, forcing other people to avoid socializing with the victim as well, and other forms of manipulation.

But why do bullies act this way?  

Some studies have shown that some bullies do it to be thought of as popular or tough, or sometimes just to get attention. 

Bullies are said to also do it out of jealousy or they may simply be acting out because they themselves were bullied earlier in their life. 

Some bullies are noted to have come from abusive families and neighborhoods.

Being submitted to bullying often may contribute to developing an inferiority complex, which is a feeling of being inferior to others in one way or another. 

Constantly being mocked or criticized in a negative way by bullies may force a person to start believing those lies and lose faith in themselves. 

Victims may also be more prone to developing stress-related mental conditions such as anxiety from oftentimes being bullied.

Victims should know that they’re not the problem, the bullies are. 

Victims should not start second-guessing themselves just because bullies telling them they're no good.  

Being different shouldn't rob you of your right to security.  

Don't be ashamed of your difference.  

It's not your fault you are unique.  

A good way to avoid being bullied is to go out in a group, it would make it difficult for bullies to single you out.  

If it doesn't work, it would help to tell someone you trust that someone is bullying you.  Having someone mediate for you does not make you a coward.  

Remember, keeping yourself safe should matter more than what others think.

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How To Enjoy Being Single In A Couple's World

 It’s sometimes easy to forget how great the single life can be when you’re surrounded by loved-up couples and fending off your mum’s clumsy attempts at matchmaking. 

What’s the problem with being single? 

Nothing, of course – except that sometimes the sight of your coupled-up friends all over each other, or a stranger holding hands with her boyfriend in the street, can make you suffer a sudden attack of single panic – the feeling that you’re alone in a world of twosomes. 

But don’t despair, you just need a dash of single-survival therapy.

Many women see being single as just a waiting period between men, but there’s no better time to learn about yourself, explore opportunities and do all the things you were too busy to do with a boyfriend. 

All it takes is the right mindset – so follow these strategies for feeling fabulous when you go solo. 

Indulge Your Desires - When you’re single, you live life on your own terms. 

Meaning you can move to a new city or head off to the Caribbean for a week without having to take someone else’s needs into account. 

Single women who have more freedom often see more of their friends and have more opportunities to do what they want, when they want. 

You also have time to pursue interests you may have previously put on the back burner. 

Let’s be honest – it’s hard to squeeze in me - a time when you have a man. 

So take advantage of this period to travel, start a course, or go on a self-improvement kick. 

Savour Small, Sexy Encounters - Cursing into a situation like a dinner party where you know there’ll be lots of couples may sound scary. 

But, armed with the right attitude, it’s a golden opportunity. 

See, unlike your attached friends, you’re a sexy agent, able to flirt around the room and flirt up a storm, not having to worry about a bad-tempered partner brooding in the corner. 

In fact, it’s those guilt-free, ego-boosting moments that make single life so much fun (especially when you’re the envy of every ball-and-chained girl in the room). 

Single women are often so caught up in getting a man, then don’t appreciate the coy, carefree encounters that make being unattached exciting. 

So train yourself to revel in those opportunities. Once you’re back in a relationship, you’ll miss that anything-can-happen rush you get from meeting new men.    

Don't Give In To Brainwashing - Ask yourself this: what’s so bad about being boyfriend-free? We line in a society that sends out messages to women: while the media glamorizes being single, there’s still that old-school message from friends and family that says it’s sad and pathetic. 

So don’t let your coupled-up friends. 

‘Don’t worry, we’ll find you a man!’  into your psyche. 

Tune them out and you’ll realize you’re having a good time. 

If you’re enjoying the single status – going out with friends, pursuing your own interests – let others know. 

That way, they’ll quit obsessing about your single, status and you can get back to the task at hand: flirting with the hottie who whipped up your latte.

Okay, so you've got the right attitude, but what do you say to those unwanted voices?

Your parents ask: ‘So, have you met any nice young men lately?’

You say: ‘Well, I’ve been hanging out biker bars and AA meetings, but so far nothing.’

Your ex asks: ‘Found yourself another bloke yet?’

You say: ‘Actually, funny you should ask – I'm into women now.’

Your friends say: ‘I think you’re being way too picky.’

You say: ‘Didn’t your ex live with his mum?’

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How your personality effects the way you deal with stress

 Did you know that your personality affects the way you cope with stressors in your life? 

Some people cope fine with levels of stress that others would find crippling. 

Our reactions to stress are partly inborn and partly learned throughout our lifetime. 

Everyone reacts to stress, it just depends on the level of stress you can handle before symptoms arise. 

Some people are really quite 'bomb-proof' and seem to cope fine with a multitude of stressful situations, but even they will eventually react once the pressure becomes too much for them.

As we live our everyday lives stress builds up until, like an overfull water barrel, it overflows and symptoms appear. 

Using the water barrel simile, if you open the water barrel tap and let some stress out every-so-often then the barrel is less likely to overflow, and no matter what your personality, you will cope better.

How do you turn on the 'tap' to reduce the pressure? There are many different ways to reduce stress, the way that will work best for you will depend on your personality. 

Some people find relaxation/meditation is the best way to relieve stress, but it has to be done regularly to have any real effect. Other types of people find that taking part in energetic sports works best for them. Whether you relax or work out will depend on your personality and your approach to life in general. One thing is certain, we all need to keep an eye on our stress levels and work consistently to reduce them because stress-related illnesses are common and emotional problems caused by poorly controlled stress levels can affect us all whether we are the sufferer ourselves or effected by a close colleague/friend or relative's problem.

Use the checklists below to find out which personality type fits you best.

If you are a perfectionist:

  

  Obviously, everything must be perfect, you just can't leave it alone. 

  If you make even one little mistake you want to repeat the whole process. 

  You dislike your routine being disrupted. 

  You get upset when others do not do their job properly and may take over, increasing your workload. 

  You can't rest till the job is done to your satisfaction, no matter how long it takes. 

  You do all your work to your own, self-imposed, superhuman standards. 

  You react badly to emergencies or change.

 

These people create their own stress by being too hard on themselves. 

They need to be more realistic and forgiving of themselves. 

You will probably find that relaxation helps, just let yourself have time off, build leisure time, and relaxation breaks into your daily routine.

If you seek stimulus:

 

  You habitually take risks. 

  You are easily bored. 

  You dislike routine.  

  You start projects easily. 

  You don't often finish the project off completely. 

  You find the little details time-wasting. 

  You are full of ideas. 

  You find it hard to maintain a steady relationship.

 

These people thrive on risk. 

They are the bungee jumpers, fast car drivers, mountain climbers. 

Their attention span can be short as they are racing on to the next thing. 

These people tend to smoke or drink too much and forget to take care of themselves properly. 

Often these types respond well to taking part in energetic sports, to burn off the tension.

If you are an anxious type:

  You feel that people take advantage of you. 

  Even small disagreements upset you. 

  You are probably too nervous to make a change, even though you realize it would help you.

  You lack self-confidence. 

  You feel vulnerable. 

  You say "Sorry" easily and even if it wasn't your fault. 

  You bottle up anger so well that even you don't know it's there. 

  You just can't say "No". 

  You fear being unpopular.

 

These people have poor self-esteem. They often take on jobs that are not demanding enough and then become bored and frustrated. 

They can spend so much time avoiding things that they miss out on living a full life. 

Although relaxation and or meditation is helpful for this group, it should be combined with methods to build self-esteem. 

A few hypnotherapy sessions can do wonders to build up self-confidence and the effects can be life-changing.

If you are an ambitious personality:

  You are totally dedicated to anything you begin. 

  You always finish anything you start. 

  You think relaxation is a waste of time. 

  You even dream about work. 

  Work is more important than social life. 

  You often do two or more jobs at once. 

  You can focus on your present task to the total exclusion of other things.

  You may forget mealtimes.  

  People getting in your way, slowing you down, make you angry. 

  You feel that there is an urgency for every task, and never enough time. 

  It is important that others see you achieve.

 

These people are often the most stressed, but least ready to do anything about it! 

They deny that they are stressed and just keep going until ill health forces them to stop. 

These are power-driven people, often somewhat aggressive when crossed. They need to be in control. 

A combination of relaxation and active leisure pursuits can help here, as well as sticking to a routine that includes time out away from work-related activities.

Your personality self-assessment:

You may be obviously one type or you could be a mixture of types. Once you recognize certain qualities about yourself, you may be able to find a better balance, understanding, and harmony within yourself. You may have noticed that all these personality types are driven by fear, and the reaction to fear is stress. 

If you recognize yourself here then do something now to make the changes you need to make to help yourself to a better, happier life.

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The Benefits of Planning

 It’s never too early to begin planning how health benefit plans will be designed and paid for, and what role you, as an employer, will continue to play in the process. 

A culture of entitlement exists when it comes to health benefits, and it is safe to assume that costs will continue to rise. 

Expect increases that average about 15 percent but may go as high as 50 percent. Maintaining the status quo will not do. 

There needs to be a synergy between employer-sponsored plans and an employee-pay-all philosophy. 

The key to finding a palatable medium between cost and benefits is early planning. 

There are several things you, as the employer, can do to facilitate this process. 

Examine your company’s status. 

Look at your bottom line, projected profitability, and a projected health benefits budget. 

Know what you have previously spent and have to spend versus your projected cost. 

This will provide a better target goal for what you can offer your employees. 

Conduct a mid-year assessment. 

Measure your health benefits budget against your usage. 

Capturing your usage mid-year paints a clearer picture of what your cost might be if you stick with an existing plan and/or carrier. 

Partner with your existing carrier. 

Ask it to provide possible solutions as you begin to plan for your next benefits cycle. 

Because you already have a relationship, it will be willing and able to help you design a customized plan. 

Research the marketplace. 

While many things — such as consumer-driven health plans, flexible spending accounts (FSAs), and health savings accounts (HSAs) — can help reduce costs, there is no silver bullet. 

Rates are competitive, so employers should exercise due diligence to come up with a strategy that works. 

Explore a wide variety of offerings. 

There are many plans you can buy into to fit your needs and pocketbook. 

The more choices employees have, the more customized health benefits can be. 

A single employee does not need the same type of coverage as a family. 

A healthy employee may find peace of mind with hospital-only or supplemental coverage. 

Some prefer higher premiums and lower or no co-payments. 

Others would trade a higher co-payment for a lower monthly premium. 

Kids-only plans are available with some carriers. 

Welcome FSAs and HSAs. 

Each has its shortcomings; it can be difficult to estimate how much to set aside for health care. 

And while these spending accounts are gaining in popularity, they are not perfect. 

An upside of the FSA is portability. 

The downside is that unused money cannot rollover. 

The HSA has a rollover, but it is not portable. 

Educate your employees. 

Part of any strategy should continue to be employee education — not only as it relates to the cost of care, but also how it relates to the company’s bottom line. 

As a stakeholder in the company, employees should be well-informed about the impact health care has on the "health" of their company. 

Using health benefits wisely is the best way to ensure an employer can continue to offer them. 

Involve your employees. 

Share information through news articles and materials from your carrier. 

Encourage employees to participate in wellness and prevention services, including annual physicals, health risk assessments, plan of treatment compliance, and medical management programs. Active involvement will positively impact your cost. 

Survey your population. 

Do you know how much your employees are willing to share in the cost of having health benefits? 

There is a school of thought that as employees increasingly share in the cost of health insurance, health care costs will begin to stabilize. 

Increasing cost-sharing can be a painful yet necessary task in responding to skyrocketing health care costs. 

While affordability is a key element in providing health benefits, the use and employee management of those benefits are vital. 

Developing and implementing a health benefits contribution strategy that can work for you takes time. 

Today is as good a day as any to start. 

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How vulnerable Are You To Stress?

 In modern society, most of us can't avoid stress. 

But we can learn to behave in ways that lessen its effects. 

Researchers have identified a number of factors that affect one's vulnerability to stress - among them are eating and sleeping habits, caffeine and alcohol intake, and how we express our emotions. 

You can make yourself less vulnerable by reviewing the items on which you scored three or higher and trying to modify them. 

Notice that nearly all of them describe situations and behaviors over which you have a great deal of control. 

Concentrate first on those that are easiest to change - for example, eating a hot, balanced meal daily and having fun at least once a week - before tackling those that seem difficult.

Bills are piling up, the front lawn is a jungle, and you can't remember what your desk looks like under those stacks of paper. 

If only you had more time. 

We've all said it at one time or another. 

Lack of time can be a major source of stress. 

As demands of daily living grow, more and more of us feel there just aren't enough hours in a day to do everything that needs to get done. 

Teaching people how to manage their time is now an American enterprise. 

There are time-management books, tapes, workshops, and seminars to make us more efficient. 

Day planners, organizers, and calendars help us remember and organize things. 

We even have personal coaches to help us turn chaotic lives into more orderly ones. 

Time Is On Your Side 

Learning to better manage your time can make you feel more in control of your life. 

That can reduce stress. 

If you can get a handle on how you spend your time, you'll be able to work smarter and function better at home and away. 

You'll relax more, be less stressed, find your goals are within easier reach and have more time for yourself. 

You'll also be proud of how organized you've become! 

Sound impossible? 
It's not! 

Here are some ways to become a wise time manager wherever you are: 

Get Organized. 

You can waste a lot of time looking for things you've misplaced, trying to make plans or decisions at the last minute, or putting things off for later. 

Clean up your desk and office by making places to store things — file cabinets, notice boards, in- and out-boxes "to read" and "bill-paying" trays — even a shredder! 

Make files, update your Rolodex, and organize your pantry and drawers so you can find things more easily.

What's that you say? 

These things take time and you already don't have enough time? 

Putting in some extra time to get organized will save you a lot of time in the long run. 

And don't try to do all your organizing in one day. 

Tackle just one drawer or closet each weekend. 

Sort through a pile every other day until you get through all of them. 

Keep a day planner or calendar handy and use it. 

Post all your important telephone numbers and email addresses in an easy-to-see place so you don't have to keep looking them up. 

Make a schedule for bill-paying day, laundry day, grocery shopping day, and library day. 

Make "to do" lists and check off tasks once they're done. 

This will show progress and help you feel like you're getting things done when you don't think you are. 

Set Priorities. 

List the things you must get done in a day. 

Be realistic. 

Writing down how much time you expect each activity to take, helps. 

The most important things go at the top of your list. 

Focus on getting those done during your high-energy time of day. 

Bump the less important tasks to the next day or week if you can't get to them. 

And don't beat yourself up if you don't. 

Remind yourself that there are only so many hours in a day and you're doing the best you can. 

Nobody's perfect! 

Stay Focused. 

If you're working on a project, close your office door, ignore the phone and email messages, tell family members or coworkers you're unavailable - try to get rid of all the distractions that prevent you from finishing your task. 

Distractions can cause stress. 

And the stress gets worse because you didn't finish the job you set out to do even though you made the time. 

Schedule a half-hour at the start and middle of the day to review and respond to emails and phone calls. 

Allow another 30 minutes at end of the day to wrap up for the day and get organized for the next one. 

Multitask Wisely. Why not kill two birds with one stone when you can? 

For instance, write Christmas cards or update your Rolodex while you're watching television. 

Don't get carried away with multitasking, though. 

That may lead to more stress and even be dangerous. 

Shaving, sending a fax, or sitting in on an important conference call while you're driving is downright dangerous! 

Get Help. Decide what you realistically can do in the time you have and get help doing the rest. 

Lighten your load by asking someone to run an errand while you're cleaning the house for company. 

That lets you receive your guests more graciously when they arrive. Getting a coworker to pitch in on a big project shows you can delegate work and get things done. 

With a little practice, you can become quite good at managing your personal and professional time. 

Not only will you become more efficient, but you'll also have less stress. 

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Attitude of Gratitude

 An attitude of gratitude? People often think it will come from having some great luck or fortune. 

Of course, it could feel great to win the lottery, and great friends, money, houses, travel - these are all good things, but not enough by themselves. 

The right frame of mind is necessary to fully enjoy life. You need an attitude of gratitude.

Gratitude 101

Your life is better when you feel blessed when you can look around and say "Thank you, God," or "Thank you universe."

 Whether or not you are religious, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one. 

Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas. 

Of course, it is easy to think that gratitude comes from having what we want. 

We might imagine ourselves giving thanks if we had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. 

But we know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things. 

We also know that there are poor people full of gratitude for what little they have, so where does this feeling come from?

Creating Gratitude

An attitude of gratitude arises from how you look at things. 

It is the natural feeling that comes when you recognize the real value of the people and things in your life. 

Focus on the good and you cannot help but have a better attitude and experience of life. Gratitude, then, is something you can encourage, something you can learn.

The first step is to stop and smell the roses. How can you be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy? 

By the way, roses really do smell great.

The second step is to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. 

You don't need to ignore the ugliness in the world. 

Just consciously choose to see the good and beautiful things, until doing so becomes automatic.

One way to encourage this habit is to start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. 

Continue this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. 

If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know-how awareness and focus can alter your perception of reality. 

In the same way, once you are aware of the good, and start looking for it, you'll start to see wonderful things all over. 

Simple exercises like the one above train your mind with time. 

When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude and a much richer experience of life is the natural result. 

You will have an attitude of gratitude.

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