Be Your Boss: Do-It-Yourself Debt Settlement

 Many people find themselves owing much more money than they can realistically afford to pay back. 

If you can relate to this situation, then it’s highly likely that you’ve researched your options and have decided that negotiating with your creditors for reduced settlements on your credit card balances may be the best solution to become debt-free.

Now that you’ve made the decision to attempt negotiating with your creditors you’re probably left wondering what steps to take and whether or not you need to have a debt settlement firm to do the negotiating on your behalf. 

Well, that depends; some people can successfully negotiate reduced settlements with their creditors, while others simply feel too intimidated when they face any type of controversy. 

My experience has shown that approximately50 % of the people with whom I talk are willing and able to negotiate on their own.

If you can remain calm and, at the very least, sound confident, during the stress, badgering, harassment, and several phone calls from your various creditors, and you’re patient enough to take the time to become educated about the process of debt settlement, there’s no reason you can’t negotiate on your own.

If you’re going to go it alone, it’s important to understand that the debt settlement process can take several months, and during this time your creditors won’t stop badgering you and trying to convince you to enter into a repayment arrangement. 

But remember, you decided to negotiate with your creditors due to the fact that you simply could no longer afford to make your monthly payments. 

Even if your creditors are willing to reduce your monthly payments and/or interest, you’ll still be faced with many monthly payments over a period of several years. 

So, during the course of your discussions with creditors, stand your ground and insist that you simply cannot commit to a long term payment agreement.

If you need convincing to remain on solid ground when talking with your creditors, think very carefully for a moment about the “make-up” of the credit industry. 

If you’ve made your payments on time every single month for the last several years and suddenly faced a hardship, your creditors simply wouldn’t care. 

You could call and write to these companies, begging for a break on your interest or payments and they won’t budge. Only once you become delinquent will they finally offer you a reduced interest rate or payments. This fact alone should help you stand your ground and insist that you absolutely will not agree to their new payment terms. They weren’t willing to help you after you reached out, begging for assistance, and this unwillingness by creditors to cooperate has led many people down the path to bankruptcy.

After several months and numerous discussions with your creditors, you’ll eventually reach a mutually agreeable negotiated settlement. 

Prior to releasing funds to your creditor, you’ll want to obtain a settlement letter, which clearly states the settlement arrangements that have been verbally agreed upon. 

This is very important; remember, if it’s not in writing it doesn’t exist, so until you have a settlement letter with a settlement amount, a deadline, and the correct account number, don’t pay a dime.

Successful debt settlement requires knowledge and education. 

Take your time and take advantage of the many resources that are available. 

Even if you find that it’s necessary to spend a few hundred dollars to buy materials that will inform and educate you, you’ll end up being several thousand dollars ahead. 

Your decision to become debt-free is one you will not regret.

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The Power of Intention

 I was fried. 

I had once loved my job leading business-writing seminars. 

But after too many days standing in front of corporate managers from 8:00 to 5:00, entertaining them, educating them, and practically willing them to write better—well, it had gotten old. 

And the luxury of room-service had long been overshadowed by an aching desire to sleep in my own bed. 

It was definitely time for a change.

I had learned through study and personal experience that if you want to do something great, you have to start with a clear intention. 

So I sat down one day with paper and pen at hand, closed my eyes, and asked myself what I really wanted to do with my life. 

The answer came easily and quickly: I wanted to speak—not about how to write a better business letter, but how to live a better life. 

When I opened my eyes, I wrote down my intention: to start speaking to audiences about how to create the life we want. 

I then launched into designing the flyer that would describe in detail the first presentation I wanted to give on “Women, Power, and Happiness.”

A couple of weeks later, my friend and colleague Marci Shimoff was in my office. 

Like me, Marci taught business writing in the corporate world, and, like me, she was up to her eyeballs in dangling modifiers. 

We were discussing some fine points of punctuation when she suddenly saw my flyer and grabbed it off my desk.

 “I’ve been wanting to start a speaking business for the past four years,” she practically shouted. 

And just like that, our speaking partnership, which we called The Esteem Group, was born.

The first thing we did was to write down our intention. Our mission was “to help women understand and experience their inner power and self-worth, so they can create and live their own vision.” 

Little did we know what power those words contained.

We began building our speaking business, specializing in self-esteem presentations for women.

 One of our best resources was Jack Canfield, a renowned expert in the field of self-esteem, with whom Marci had studied. 

So when his book "Chicken Soup for the Soul" became a national bestseller that year, we immediately got his permission to share stories from it with our audiences.

It turned out to be a powerful combination: women and Chicken Soup. 

We saw what an impact the stories had, how deeply they moved women, and how much they helped them with the changes they were trying to make. 

So the following January, when Marci approached me with the idea of co-editing a volume for women, I didn’t hesitate. 

We faxed Jack a proposal. 

He said it sounded like a good idea—and then we all got busy and let it drop.

But Marci and I kept getting clearer about our intention: We wanted to touch the hearts of women all over the globe. We wanted to inspire them, uplift them, give them a vision of life lived from the heart—and show them the magnificent support we can be to one another.

We finally flew to Los Angeles and sat down for a meeting with Jack. 

With our vision clearly in mind and heart, we told him that we wanted to touch the hearts of women around the world through a Chicken Soup for the Soul book just for them. 

Jack asked us why he should let us do the project when his office already had a successful track record (they were working on number two in the series). 

Marci and I looked at each other across the table and simultaneously realized we hadn’t prepared a thing to say!

For a moment, we sat speechlessly. Then, all of a sudden, the words started pouring out: We both taught business writing and understood the principles of good writing; 

I had majored in journalism; we understood the “Chicken Soup” genre because we’d been using stories in our public presentations; we were connected with women through our business and felt that we understood what women were hungry for; the women’s market was huge; and finally, Jack and his coauthor Mark Victor Hansen couldn’t coauthor a book for women without women coauthors!

Jack didn’t even hesitate. 

He said yes, and sixteen months later, Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul became a reality. 

Within two months, it hit Number 1 on the New York Times best-seller list. 

A million copies had been sold.

But we didn’t understand the real implication of the numbers until the mail started coming in. 

We soon found we had fulfilled our intention beyond our wildest imagination. 

We were deluged with letters from women literally all around the globe telling us how our book had affected their lives. 

Estranged mothers and daughters were reconciled; abused women found the courage to get help, women changed careers, adopted babies, confronted their boss, their illness, their fears, their mother-in-law. 

We toured all over the country, speaking and signing books, and everywhere women shared their stories with us. 

Marci and I wept with them, cheered with them, and most days felt we were the luckiest women alive. 

I still feel that way!

To say that Marci and I worked extremely hard on that first book would be an understatement.

 The learning curve was steep, and we had to put the book together while still building our speaking business and teaching in the corporate world to earn an income. 

Even finding days when we were both in town at the same time was challenging! 

But we knew it was the opportunity of a lifetime. What a perfect vehicle we had found to fulfill our desire.

I believe that Intention is a fundamental principle of success. 

It is not the same as goal-setting. Goal-setting comes from the mind, while intention comes from the heart. 

The intention by itself doesn’t make things happen either. But when intention comes from the heart and is coupled with the willingness to work, miracles can happen.

 We may not know how it’s going to happen, but we don’t need to. We just need to be awake to opportunities and willing to show up and do what’s needed.

Adapted from The Soul of Success: A Woman’s Guide to Authentic Power, Health Communications, Inc., copyright 2005 Jennifer Read Hawthorne.

Jennifer Read Hawthorne is an international keynote address speaker and author. 

Her other titles include co-author of:

Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul

Chicken Soup for the Single’s Soul

A Second Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul

Diamonds, Pearls & Stone: Jewels of Wisdom 

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The Power Of Emotional Health

 Man's obsession with physical fitness is evident wherever you go.  

There is a phenomenal increase in the growth of fitness clubs and gyms.  

People have become conscious of their body image that they are willing to go the extra mile just to have the same sculptured body like those that are usually splashed in the pages of magazines, billboards, TV, and movie screens. 

People try to find sensible and sustainable ways to achieve and maintain a physically fit body, yet tend to overlook another important aspect of their well-being: their emotional health.

It has always been said that a healthy body cannot be divorced from a healthy mind or a healthy spirit. 

Emotional health is considered an integral part of man's overall wellness.  

Neglecting your emotional health can damage your physical health in the process. 

Research has shown that one of the leading contributors to illness is stress caused by unresolved emotional issues. 

Psychologists believe that emotions, such as fear, joy, sadness, and anger are mental responses to events, circumstances, people, or our own thoughts and memories.

 They course through our conscious and unconscious mind at critical junctures or during seemingly inconsequential moments of our lives. 

Biologists, on the other hand, tell us that our emotions are rooted in self-preservation, triggering physiological reactions that enable us to find food, escape danger, and reproduce. 

In his work entitled "Emotional Intelligence", author Daniel Goleman pointed out that, “...all emotions are, in essence, impulses to act, the instant plans for handling life that evolution has instilled in us." 

Emotions have also evolved into facial expressions and body language so that each member of the group can signal his or her wants and needs to other members. 

As John D. Mayer, a leading expert in the study of emotions has remarked: "Emotions convey information...about relationships." 

Emotions are so powerful and actually possess the ability to make us sick, as well as provide healing.  

Emotions are relayed to the immune system through the autonomic nervous system. 

When people experience anxiety,  depression, and other painful emotions, the immune system can be affected and may cause a risk for a whole host of illnesses.  

In the same way, having a healthy emotional outlook in life can boost the resistance against disease. 

Mayer has emphasized, "People can reason with emotions in the same way they reason with cognitive information. 

So you can solve emotional problems just as mathematicians solve math problems." 

However, he also acknowledged that some emotions, such as grief and anger, can be harder to control or reason with.  

The interplay of various emotions makes that form of “reasoning” very difficult. 

Not all experts agree that human beings are born with a full range of emotions.  

Instead, some theorize that people were born with instincts and urge, along with an innate capacity for feeling. As people grow older, they develop personalities and nurture relationships with others, which are valuable experiences that help them expand their feelings into full-fledged emotions. Having a complete range of emotions is important for overall health and well-being.

Emotional health consists of five key components: 

1.Being is aware of your emotions. 

Emotionally healthy people are in touch with their emotions and can identify and acknowledge them as experience.

2.Being is able to process your emotions. 

After connecting with their emotions, emotionally healthy people develop appropriate ways of expressing them.

3.Being sensitive to other people and their emotions and having the ability to empathize. 

The ability to identify their own emotions enables emotionally healthy people to identify emotions in others and to have an intuitive sense of what it feels like to experience them.

4.Being self-empowered. 

Emotionally healthy people honor their emotions, which empowers them to fulfill their goals.

5.Being in healthy relationships. 

Using their emotional intelligence and empathy, emotionally healthy people build and maintain strong, functioning relationships. 

Just as emotional health can affect a person's physical health, the same is true with one's lifestyle making a direct impact on emotional health.  

Vitamins and minerals stimulate the production of chemicals in the brain.  

These are known as neurotransmitters that regulate our physical and mental health functions, including the way we process emotions.  

Minor deficiencies of these nutrients can lead to depression and irritability, as well as hamper our ability to concentrate and stay motivated. 

Definitely, unhealthy foods can adversely affect emotional health. 

Excessive intake of caffeine demonstrates many of the same physiological and psychological symptoms as people suffering from anxiety, while a diet with too much sugar has been linked to depression, aggression, and impaired judgment. 

Many experts believe that people with strong spiritual fervor tend to have healthier immune systems and are less prone to depression and high blood pressure.  

It can be surmised that the faith of religious adherents gave them an enhanced sense of well-being which helped reduce their levels of stress.

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Prove Your Power: Take Action Now and Achieve Your Goals

 TAKE ACTION!

I swear, it seems as if there are more opinions regarding fat loss than there are people. 

It's amazing. 

What's even more amazing (and frustrating), is that most of them are wrong, if not downright dangerous.

There is just way too much information for you to even get started with a successful program, sometimes known as "information overload".

There are so much information and so many differing opinions that you never even get yourself started. 

Or, you get started, but never give any particular program a chance, instead of going from one to the other, in a "shotgun" approach, never giving anything a chance to make progress.

You need to pick a sensible program and decide to stick with it for a long enough period of time that you can measure your results or lack thereof.

If you're like most people, fear, doubt, and confusion are preventing you from moving forward and tackling your fat loss goals. 

This prevents too many people from achieving their goals in life, whether it be a successful career, or building their body.

Everyone feels fear and doubt. 

The difference is that successful people move forward anyway and use these things as motivators to help them achieve their goals.

Do something! Hit the gym. 

Eat that nutritious meal.

You don't have to know everything to get started. 

Do a few weight exercises a couple of days a week, drop one thing in your diet that you know you shouldn't have. 

You can fine-tune your program as you go, doing more and more of the things you need to do.

Forget about whether supplement a is better than supplement b or if a turkey is better than chicken or should you have whey protein with casein or take them separately.

If you aren't doing the fundamentals correctly, these things just don't matter. 

This goes back to a previous article I wrote where I stated that things such as narrow grip, wide grip, etc. won't mean a thing if there are major flaws in the fundamentals of your training program.

Forget about which supplement is better for what, whether you should be riding the bike or hitting the treadmill if the turkey has less fat than chicken.

Master the fundamentals first!

The fundamentals of fat loss include:

Perform high-intensity weight training,

Burn more calories than you consume

Eat 5-6 small, frequent meals and never skip meals,

Taken in a few tablespoons of good fats such as flaxseed or sunflower

Eat natural foods; avoid processed & refined foods

Drink a lot of water

Eat more fibrous carbs, fruits & vegetables,

Consume at least 1 gram of protein per pound of lean body mass

Perform high-intensity cardio

If you're not doing all these things, and you're looking for the perfect supplement stack or the optimum periodization plan, then you are just setting yourself up for failure from the beginning.

Fitness Is A Lifestyle, Not A Diet

Do you know what is the biggest fat loss mistake made by beginners?

As many of you are aware, gym memberships always shoot up in January and February. 

All of the sudden, you can't get the equipment you want without a long wait. Don't worry, as you move into March, most of the newcomers will be gone because they've quit.

Results may come slowly for most of you unless you are genetically blessed.

But if you stick with it long enough, if you resolve to make it a lifestyle and not a quick fix, you will get the results that you want. 

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Be Your Boss: Taking Care Of Inner Health

 Inner health is a very important subject because 95% of life-threatening diseases start inside our bodies where we can’t see what is happening. 

By ignoring symptoms we often allow the problem to increase until treatment becomes difficult or, in the worst cases, impossible. 

It is also true that one hour of prevention is far better than one year of treatment. 

In this article, we will look at the main source of “body fuel” – the food that we eat and, more importantly, how we eat it. 

But before going into that subject there are other things we should not be doing:

1. No smoking.

2. No drinking alcohol to excess.

3. No taking of unprescribed drugs.

This article is written on the assumption that you abide by the three rules above.

What we eat is the starting point. 

There is no point in eating foods that are saturated in fat as your basic diet and complaining that you are overweight and/or feel unwell. 

Of course, you do because this is self-inflicted by an inadequate diet. 

Small meals are taken regularly (even six meals each day) are better for you than long periods without food followed by a heavy meal.

Large, rich, meals late at night should be avoided, especially for older people. 

A cooked meal at midday is digested better than a late-night meal.

You should drink at least one and a half quarts (1.5 liters) of fluid each day; much more if the weather is hot.

 If you become ill you should double your fluid intake. Water is the best.

Improving your diet is not as difficult as most people claim. In most instances, it is simply a case of adjusting the balance of what we eat.

 Here are a few tips:

Eat more fiber in the form of fruit, vegetables, and whole-grain bread. 

In addition, add two tablespoons of coarse bran to your breakfast cereal. 

This provides bulk, or roughage, that your digestive system depends upon to function properly.

Cut down on fat, normally taken in fast foods and fries, etc. 

Eat more lean meat, fish. Grill rather than fry foods where possible.

Eat less sugar (This means no soda’s because the average can of soda contains an equivalent of 20+ Tablespoons of sugar equivalent) 

Do not drink beer with meals because beer stops your body from breaking down fats.

 Water is the best drink followed by low-calorie drinks and unsweetened fruit juices.

Walk for at least half an hour each day. Park your car at the furthest parking space from the supermarket; the exercise will increase your lifespan. 

If possible use stairs rather than escalators. 

All of these small things, together with your balanced diet, will increase your health and lifespan.

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OCD Victim: Why we do what we do?

 Where does an OCD sufferer begin to start? to explain what compels them to do the things that are slowly destroying them inside or the people around them.

Do you suffer in silence to please your loved ones or show them the door?

Being an OCD sufferer for as long as I can remember has left me a dedicated addict to Temazepam.

"The tablets will help" were the doctors' very words. 

I also recall him saying, how I would kill myself if I carried on doing what I was doing.

Those life-threatening rituals regardless of those words of wisdom from my local GP are still being carried out.

Prescription prescribed by one psychologist.

How could he help?

 Questions raised by the psychologist were that of my childhood. 

Questions like was I abused as a child. Well if that being the case I certainly was not going to confide in or tell a complete stranger.

Some things stay hidden in the closet and are taken to the grave.

Most OCD victims may have suffered at some stage in their life some form of abuse. 

In a way this makes sense, but what of our fellow-sufferers with no abusive upbringing where do the answers lie?

So severe is the urge to cleanse ourselves, we enter into another world where we find contentment in releasing our energies in habitual rituals that we no longer have control over.

Is there a cure? Yes, of course, all we do is stop what we are doing, how? 

By not committing ourselves to listen to those little voices in our heads any longer.

Demon's who cast an opinion on how we run our lives. 

What right have they to enter our heads uninvited? 

Rid of these devils and we have the antidote for the poison inflicted upon us.

For an invisible force, they win hands down every time.

Help comes in many forms in i.e. medication relaxation classes, herbal tonics, etc. 

Depending on the individual and of course how severe the symptoms

Therapies differ and do work with high success rates for many sufferers. 

Recommending what is best for you is out of my jurisdiction we all differ greatly in our needs to find the cure.

The first step on the road to recovery is to face up to the problem. Will this cure me you ask?  

No, but it will certainly slow down the process of putting yourself into an early grave. 

OCD is about speed, the quicker one job or task is done; it is time to move onto the next. 

This death sentence that I have imposed upon myself is challenged each day by slowing down. 

Do a little research on the illness to find how you can help yourself; this helped me greatly in my search for freedom 

Finding the time to read was another step forward because to have done this. 

I knew I had then put another chore on the back burner.

Half the battle is won for a victim of OCD if they can be heard in the way that they want to be understood. 

A move in the right direction is to talk to fellow sufferers of this self-destroying disease. 

2% of the population are victims of this uncontrollable force behind why we do what we do.

Alienate these aliens by becoming a force with other OCD victims in the battle against self-destruction because that is exactly what it is, Self Destruction.

And the most dangerous accomplice on this mission is YOU.

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How To Get A Good Night's Sleep!

 Do you remember when you were little and it seemed as though sleep overcame you as soon as your head hit your pillow? 

And you slumbered through the night until morning time? They call it the sleep of the innocent, but don't you wish you could sleep like that again? 

Adult responsibilities, stress, lifestyle, and other worries often result in poor sleep habits, and once the cycle of tossing and turning begins, it is difficult to return to a decent night's sleep. 

Many adults rely on prescription drugs to fall asleep and quite a few are addicted to them! 

Others 'self medicates' and use alcohol and other recreational drugs to try and fall asleep. 

If you are regularly struggling to sleep well, then you probably need to learn to fall asleep again!

So let’s go back to basics! 

And who better to consult than babies! 

After all, babies are the experts at sleeping so why not learn a little from them! 

Apart from their age and body clock, there are specific reasons that babies fall asleep so well. 

Let’s have a look at a few of them and see if we can’t borrow some of the tricks! 

ROUTINE: Most parents try very hard to get their children into a routine. 

Regular bedtimes, bath times, and mealtimes are something to strive towards. 

Of course, one cannot be too rigid, but a child on a regular routine will feel secure and will be able to ‘predict’ his environment more easily. 

It also helps his body clock to start the process of winding down before he actually gets to bed. He knows that after supper comes to his bath, a story, a prayer, and a good night kiss. 

When his head hits the pillow, he is ready to meet the sandman!  

So try and follow this example. 

Start a nighttime routine. 

Make your evenings more or less predictable along the lines of supper, bath, and bed.  

For at least three weeks try and follow this simple routine and go to bed at the same time each night – about 8 hours before it is time to get up.

 Wear soft comfortable and cozy nightwear, specifically for sleeping (remember flannel pajamas?) 

EXERCISE: This is something kids do lots of! 

They don’t stop running around for a minute! Now I am not suggesting that you start running around wherever you go, but regular exercise is one of the best sleep aids around! 

It’s also free and healthy and has lots of good side effects. 

Take up a sport, go to the gym, or start regular walks. You won’t regret it! 

HAVE PEACEFUL EVENINGS: 

How many times don’t you hear parents saying to their kids “Calm down now, it’s nearly bedtime”. 

Or “You’d better stop running around – you won’t be able to fall asleep!” 

Perhaps you say this to your own children – with good reason! Do you follow your own advice? 

Or do you sit up watching thrillers (or even worse the news!) or finishing off the day’s work that you brought home from the office? 

Sound familiar? Try a different approach. 

Never watch TV while trying to fall asleep. 

Rather dim the lights while you get into a hot bath and put on some soothing music. 

Use aromatherapy in your home – in particular, lavender for its soporific properties. 

Be quiet and peaceful for the hour before you go to bed and your body will start to get the message! 

OTHER HINTS

Avoid all products with caffeine or sugar after 6pm. That means coffee, cola chocolate, and all 'soda pops' (fizzy drinks). 

Also, stay away from heavy meals at night. 

Your tummy will be too busy digesting to allow you to sleep well! 

Don't eat red meat, refined products, or lots of cheese. Go for pasta, grains, pulses, potatoes, and rice. 

Good evening or bedtime drinks are warm milk, lettuce extract, and chamomile tea (sleepy tea) - all safe and proven sleep aids. 

If you are really struggling, some herbal remedies to aid sleep are Valerian, Passiflora, and Kava Kava. 

Try to put these simple hints to the test for three weeks only. You will be surprised at the difference they make! 

Good night!

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