These articles are meant to help every human unlock their potential, getting inspired by my personal experiences, and great leaders' backgrounds and struggles changing into overwhelming success.

Welcome!
  • Wayne Dyer

    “You don’t need to be better than anyone else, you just need to be better than you used to be.”

  • Henry Disston

    "The fading flowers of pleasures.Spring spontaneous from the soil,but the real harvest's treasure Yields alone to patient toil."

How to rebuild your life after a Divorce? Find an Attorney +Find Out About Child Support

 How to find that right lawyer to handle your divorce can be difficult. There are many factors that you will want to look at. 

Once you have gotten over the pain and hurt, you need to consult a lawyer to advise you on what's fair. Some lawyers will try to go for all they can, but if you want to have a civilized divorce (if one is possible) you will want to go after only what is fair.

 There is a lot of stress that divorce can bring, but if you find the right attorney you will find that you won't have to deal with so much. You need a lawyer that will ease your stress levels. 


One thing that you need to look at when choosing an attorney is the fee. 

Is it going to cost you an arm and a leg?  If so, then you may just be adding more stress on top of things. 

Lawyers will let you know what the costs will be, and that will depend on the difficulty of the divorce. If you don't have anyone contesting a marriage then you may just want to hire the same lawyer and get things over with.

 If you want to have a sensible divorce, you don't want to go with the high paid lawyers. They will go for all they can so that they can get a better feel. You need to be as open and honest as possible when you first meet with the lawyer. This way you can have a good idea of what to look forward to.



You should also take their expertise into consideration too. If they have a good track record, you should hire them if you want to have a blood battle or get as much as possible. 

However, you can hire a lawyer outside of the divorce field.

 But if you get an experienced lawyer, they know the judges and how they react to certain cases. They will use all of their knowledge for your advantage. 

The fee may be more important than expertise, but you should know that you get what you pay for.


You may also want to ask around. Your friends will know a few lawyers that will be good candidates. A good lawyer will not hide anything. They will let their clients know that they would like to be referred and they may even talk about past clients. 

This will convince you of how experienced and good they are so that you will hire them. Their testimony may mean nothing, but if you ask around you will be able to get a good idea of what they are really like. 

Some lawyers are known for being hard and so if that's what you are looking for, then you should go with a lawyer that everyone speaks of.


You should also go with a lawyer that you like. It is important that you trust your lawyer. You need to be able to rely on them.

 You also need to know that their attitude goes along with yours. 

If you want a cutthroat lawyer, then make sure that have the personality to be, but if you just want to get it over with and be done than seek a lawyer who will go after what's fair.


When it comes to picking your lawyer, you will want to make sure that you have one in mind that will do exactly what you want. 

You also want a lawyer who will have the time to deal with all the stress of the divorce so you can easily wash your hands of it all. 

You will want a lawyer that understands how you feel and knows what you want and how you would like to get it.


Find Out About Child Support

You will need to see what your state laws say about child support. 

The key point to child support is to make sure that the children are taken care off when the parents separate. 
 After a divorce, some people can not provide enough for their family on one income, that is why you need to file for child support. 

The judge will make the child support reasonable by looking at what the father or mother makes along with the guardian of the child and then the needs of the child. 

The older a child gets, the more money you will pay because their needs increase. 

Those who refuse to pay their child support will be prosecuted. 

It is against the law to ignore the decisions of the courts. 

Usually, for child support, you get to see the children on a regular basis. 


Both parents have a duty towards the children. One will give support, and the other will use the support money to help their children's expenses. 
Usually, the one who has the least time with the child will pay the support. Sometimes it is the father and sometimes it is the mother. 

Your martial issues are never a concern in the child support because it doesn't matter what went wrong with the marriage, only that the child is taken care of. 

The only thing that matters is if the parent is responsible. 


If there was abuse, obviously they won't get custody and will end up paying child support regardless of visitation. 

You do not get to choose what you will pay, so you need to do your research when you first start the divorce proceedings. You will first want to make sure that your payment is scheduled. 

Your payment is due a certain time of the month and if they aren't on time, you may end up in jail for backed child support. Child support is only used to give the child shelter, food, and clothes. It may be used to purchase school supplies as well as other related things. 

Your payments will stop as soon as they turn 18. 

Some states require you to pay child support past 18 if they are still in high school or even college. If they become emancipated, you don't have to pay child support anymore either. 

Obviously, if the child dies, you no longer have to either.




Find out right away what you may be paying because if you don't pay then you will either go to jail, things will be auctioned off to pay your debt. 

You will have property seized by the government and then they sell the items to get the money. 

If you would like to keep your things or freedom, you may want to think about the amount you are willing to pay and then consult your lawyer on seeing if you can get the payment around that amount. Most people pay about $200-300 a month on child support per child. 

You may have to get a second job just to keep your payments coming. 

Don't worry about not getting the payment on time, because most employers will send it straight from your paycheck.

 Every check that you get, you will have a little bit taken each time for your child support bill. If you are used to living quite extravagant when you start paying child support, your spending will have to go down or that you can afford to live on what you make.



Child support is very serious and you will find that it isn't cheap.


 Consult your lawyer to find out what you should expect to pay.
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How to Rebuild Your Life, Get the Right Attorney

 How to find that right lawyer to handle your divorce can be difficult. 

There are many factors that you will want to look at 

Once you have gotten over the pain and hurt, you need to consult a lawyer to advise you on what's fair. Some lawyers will try to go for all they can, but if you want to have a civilized divorce (if one is possible) you will want to go after only what is fair.

 There is a lot of stress that divorce can bring, but if you find the right attorney you will find that you won't have to deal with so much. You need a lawyer that will ease your stress levels. 



One thing that you need to look at when choosing an attorney is the fee. Is it going to cost you an arm and a leg?  If so, then you may just be adding more stress on top of things. 

Lawyers will let you know what the costs will be, and that will depend on the difficulty of the divorce.

 If you don't have anyone contesting a marriage then you may just want to hire the same lawyer and get things over with.

 If you want to have a sensible divorce, you don't want to go with the high paid lawyers. They will go for all they can so that they can get a better feel. 

You need to be as open and honest as possible when you first meet with the lawyer. This way you can have a good idea of what to look forward to.


You should also take their expertise in consideration too. If they have a good track record, you should hire them if you want to have a blood battle or get as much as possible. 

However, you can hire a lawyer outside of the divorce field. But if you get an experienced lawyer, they know the judges and how they react to certain cases. 

They will use all of their knowledge for your advantage. The fee may be more important than expertise, but you should know that you get what you pay for.


You may also want to ask around. 

Your friends will know a few lawyers that will be good candidates. 

A good lawyer will not hide anything. 

They will let their clients know that they would like to be referred and they may even talk about past clients. This will convince you of how experienced and good they are so that you will hire them. 

Their testimony may mean nothing, but if you ask around you will be able to get a good idea of what they are really like. Some lawyers are known for being hard and so if that's what you are looking for, then you should go with a lawyer that everyone speaks of.


You should also go with a lawyer that you like. It is important that you trust your lawyer. You need to be able to rely on them. 

You also need to know that their attitude goes along with yours. 

If you want a cutthroat lawyer, then make sure that have the personality to be, but if you just want to get it over with and be done than seek a lawyer who will go after what's fair.



When it comes to picking your lawyer, you will want to make sure that you have one in mind that will do exactly what you want. You also want a lawyer who will have the time to deal with all the stress of the divorce so you can easily wash your hands of it all. 

You will want a lawyer that understands how you feel and knows what you want and how you would like to get it.

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Divorce, find a new job, and move on in life+find an apartment, and move on in life

 There is a great life that lies head after divorce. You will be able to move on with your life. You can get up and move to a new place and start a completely new life. Some people will do just that. They will change jobs, they will refinance, and they will begin to date again. Just because the divorce is done and is final, this doesn't mean that you have gone through all the steps. You still have to pick up the pieces and try to move on. It's hard for many to move on because they have spent so much time with that person and it can be hard to break up someone who doesn't want to. There are a lot of feelings that you will go through, however you will find that there is a lot of hope that lies in the bounds of the aftermath.


After the divorce you have refinanced and everything is done and over. You don't have a mortgage, you may not have a car payment, you may not have anything to your name. This is a great opportunity to relocate. You don't have to go to another state, but even another county would be a huge change for you. You will have to find a way to get back in the game. 


The first step to rebuilding after moving is to find a new job. You may want to find a job that allows you to work more because now you don't have to worry about sharing your time with your wife, or you may decide that you don't need a high paying job anymore because you don't the bills or family to support. You can adjust to your new living by going up or standing back from employment. You can purchase a new home and start there, or you can just not make any commitments and rent. Your like is completely up to you.


It may be a long way to come back once you have been knocked down by a divorce. You may have to start from nothing. You will have new views, new goals, a new life. 

You can leave everything behind or you can build yourself back up. Some people just find it easier to leave everything than truly deal with anything. It is a hassle to go through a divorce and the alimony can make you need to get another job. 

You will find that there are so many things in a divorce that can cause you to take up drinking, but then there are so many more things that you can do to make things better. 

You can make things better by going for an important job that you didn't want to take because of your family. You have nothing holding you back. You can re-do everything your way. 

You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself.

 You are completely independent. 

That is one good thing about divorce. It can also be scary. If you feel like you can't stand on your own, you can ease your way into being independent.

 You can move in with some friends, you can take a less demanding job, you can purchase a lease for an apartment, whether than purchase a home. 

You don't have to make any commitments to anything. Once you feel like you can get back in the game you can begin to make commitments like buying a house or asking someone on a date. It's a slow progression back.

Once you have relocated you can spend your time like you wish and you can change anything in your life. You should try to be independent because you will make the progression back quickly. You can be okay sooner than later.

Divorce, find an apartment and move on in life 

Moving out and finding an apartment can be a good thing. It will start the divorce proceedings. However, if you have children, you do not want to move out.
 If you were to move out the other spouse may end up getting the children because the life in the home and it's a stable environment. 
Also, they may be given the home just for the fact that there are children and you have already made arrangements to live elsewhere's.
 However, if you move out you will have relief from the arguments and torture that many people make while trying to push a divorce through. If you would really like to keep the house, then you should stay until the judge has made his decision. At the temporary relief hearing, this is when you can make your plea to come back or make the other move out.
When you do move out and find an apartment you can look for apartments that are for those who are going through a divorce.

 They are usually very cheap and most people will keep to themselves. If you do move out and without the children, than you should see them as much as you possibly can arrange so that the judge will allow you to keep your visits. 

You may want to purchase an apartment that has plenty of room for the children and you may want to set up with rooms so that when they come to your place they can be entertained and comfortable. 
When you move you, take everything that you would like with you.
 You should take any personal things like your clothes and jewelry. 

You should also inventory everything that you take so that it can't come back as stealing.


 If you take it out right away, the law will see it as yours. 

Depending on what it is and the value of it (money or personal) you may be able to keep it or you may have to be ordered to give it back. 

But, if you would like it, please take it with you, because you never know what they may do to your things. Also, don't be greedy; leave most of the furniture, unless it was in your den or private area. You should never clean the house out, regardless of who owned what. It will look bad in court, plus you don't want the children to be disrupted.
When you move out, don't go to the girlfriend/boyfriend's place. 

You want to show independence and it may be just what you need. If you cannot afford a place on your own, you should move in with a friend or family member. 

You should not' move back to the parents because you never know what dirt the lawyer can dig up about your family when it comes to the custody of the children. 
Also, make sure that this other person would have no personal interaction with you so they can't say that you are dating each other. Moving in with a close friend or cousin will make the rent easier to be paid and you won't be completely alone. You will have someone to stay with that will support you.

Once you are settled in your new place you can gradually begin to build a new life. 


Go out, meet new people, have fun. Just don't do anything that would make you look bad if someone brought it up in court. 
This way you can move on with your life, but you don't mess up a good beginning.  If there aren't children involved you may even want to move out of state if your family is located somewhere else. This way you can have family around you be able to move on.

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How to rebuild your life, find a new hobby(after a divorce)

 Moving on is very important when it comes to rebuilding your life after divorce. 

You will be out of it for a while, but you will find that you can rebuild yourself and learn from your mistakes.

 It is hard to part from someone who once was a part of who you where, but you will find that you can move on and find new things in your life to bring you joy and happiness. You can find a new hobby at your church, within your community, or within your home.


After you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will begin to want to find other things to fill your hours. 

If you are the type of person who likes to be alone, you should find new things to learn that you can do by yourself. 


Take an art class at the local community college. Learn how to sculpt or do pottery. You can also learn how to write. You can write a story or article about your life to describe what you are going through. You may find that your hobby could turn into something that you can pursue as a career. 

You will be able to spend the hours productively than sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream. 



Some women will take up a hobby that gets them back into interacting with others.

 You may want to join a local pool or bowling league. 

You may go to the community center and join a card game once a week. If you really want to get back into the interaction, you should take dance lessons. 

Learn how to ballroom or to do some jazz.  

Then you will be able to learn something and find something new to enjoy. You don't have to go alone, you can take a brother or cousin or dear friend to be your partner. It will be something new to experience. If dancing doesn't sound like a good hobby, you can take up a local job of something that you already know. 


If you were really good at a sport, you may want to become an assistant coach or coach of a local high school team or college team. You can start up a new chapter of AYSO or some other thing. 

You can also do some community service to fill your hours. You can do things like feeding the poor; raise money for your church or community, or other services that are needed.


Anything that you can shift your attention to will be a great thing. You will be able to let go of all the hurt and pain and focus on something positive. 


Even if you would like to increase your reading or do a 25,000-piece puzzle, do anything that will stimulate your mind and allow you to adjust your focus. 

When you find a hobby or something to focus your attention on you have less of a chance of focusing on the negative or starting bad habits like drinking or smoking. You will be able to find a positive release. 


You can take many things, many classes, at local colleges that you can do with a friend. 

You can learn how to cook, paint, write, or anything else that will stimulate your creativity. Just remember that you need to find something that interests you and that is convenient. You can also find hobbies around the house too. 

You can go antiquing with a friend or you can remodel or redecorate the entire hours to your likening. Again, anything that will get you to focus on the positive outlooks on life. 


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FEAR AND REASON

 "In civilized life it has at last become possible for large numbers of people to pass from the cradle to the grave without ever having had a pang of genuine fear. Many of us need an attack of mental disease to teach us the meaning of the word." William James. 


We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy. 


The fact is that no so called normal fear can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people who have had every cause therefor. 



If you will run over human history in your mind, or look about yea in the present life, you will find here and there persons who, in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist, to inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear, are nevertheless wholly without the feeling. 

They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear.

 The idea of self-preservation is as strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they do not know. 

This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long-continued training or habituation, or from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual selfhood which is unhurtable, or from the action of very exalted reason. 

Whatever the explanation, the fact remains the very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. to the instinct of self-preservation and to reason, the thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness. 


Banish all fear.          


It is on such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling should and may be banished from our life, and that what we call "normal fear" should be substituted in our language by "instinct" or by "reason," the element of fear being dropped altogether. 


"Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results" (James). The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. 

If, then, it can be profoundly believed that the real self cannot be hurt; if the reason can be brought to consider vividly and believingly all quieting considerations; if the self can be held consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self, and is surely within that self, and will suffer "no evil to come nigh," while all the instincts of self-preservation may be perfectly active, fear itself must be removed "as far as the east is from the west." 


These are the ways, then, in which any occasion for fear may be divided: 


As a warning and as a maker of panic. But let us say that the warning should be understood as given to reason, that fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discriminations in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear. 


a preliminary study of fear.               


Fear is (a) an impulse, (b) a habit, (c) a disease. 


Fear, as it exists in man, is make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity. 


Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness. 


The division depends upon the point of view. What is commonly called normal fear should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view, all fear is evil so long as entertained. 


Whatever its manifestations, wherever its apparent location, fear is a psychic state, of course, reacting upon the individual in several ways: as, in the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition. 

The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, "Take care! Danger!"

 You will see that this is so if you will look for a moment at three comprehensive kinds of fear fear of self, fear for self, fear for others. 

Fear of self is indirectly fear for self danger. 

Fear for others signifies foresensed or forepictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder whether, when we fear for others, it is a distress to self or hurt to them that is most emphatically in our thought. 


Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul's danger signal. But the true signal is the instinctive and thoughtful reason. 



Even instinct and reason, acting as a warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by the mind in a state of balance and self-control.

 A normal mind is always capable of such a warning. There are but two ways in which so-called normal fear, acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated: by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life. 


Let it be understood, now, that by normal fear is here meant normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us. 


One person said: "Tired? No such word in my house!" 

Now, this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude.

 Weariness, at a certain stage of the effort, is a signal to stop work. When one becomes so absorbed in labor as to lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a "hurry call" on death.

 I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition; but I hold that when a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, Nature will work disaster inevitably. 

Let us stand for the larger liberty which is joyously free to take advantage of everything Nature may offer for true well-being. 

There is partial liberty that tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real; there is higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real and by using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best. 

I hold this to be true wisdom: to take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory, and free to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual. 

I embrace your science or your method, but I beg to ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency. So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles. 


It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, "There is no pain!" Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist, for why (and how) declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent? But if you say, 

"As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it, and to cultivate thought-health so that the cause of the pain may be removed," that is sane and beautiful. This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." 

To undertake to swamp pain with a cloud of psychological fog that is to turn anarchist against the good government of Nature. 

By pain, Nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal. The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation, and Will, confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear. 


I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against "evil." 


Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. 

This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness, for it is not needed, is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control and it absorbs life's forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values. 

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- Richelieu -

"Be liberal but cautious; enterprising but careful."

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
"In the lexicon of youth, which Fate reserves for a bright manhood, there is no such word As—fail!

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Evergreen books to read this year

  • "Chicken Soup for the Soul" by Jack Canfield
  • "Believe" by Evan Carmichael
  • "As a man thinketh" by Earl Nigthingale
  • "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill
  • "You Were Born Rich" by Bob Proctor
  • "The Strangest Secret" by Earl Nightingale
  • "No Matter What" by Lisa Nichols
  • "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership" by John Maxwell

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Discovering how people think, why they think in certain ways and what's stopping them most from taking action have always intrigued me. It made me dig dipper into the unlimited human thinking universe.

If this inspired you, fuel my work with a coffee — every cup keeps the ideas flowing! 💛